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 Was I just making it up?
The adults used to think so, and punish me for it.
I wasn't sure.
I didn't know what it was, but I did know that I could see the horse.
On that day on the North Sea, my spirit horse was running on the grey green churning water, jumping over breakers, striding and splashing up great plumes and sprays as it went.
I would paint and draw the horse endlessly, and sometimes I would dream of it too - and all that time I hadn't a clue that there is nothing wrong with having a particular spirit animal that is with you, probably from before birth, or a time even before conception.
I hadn't the first clue that there were other societies and civilisations who wouldn't have beaten me around the head for having a spirit horse by my side, but that they would have said what a marvellous thing that was, and how blessed I was for it to be so.
It wasn't until I was much, much older and learned about meditations and especially, Project Sanctuary, that I would speak to the horse; and even then, I really never spoke to it as such; we understand each other, and words would be a hindrance, rather than a help.
Strange is that I have never been particularly keen to either ride, or own a horse.
Horses like me, and I like them, but there is a calm acceptance there, no deep desire to know more about horses, or have them be around me. It seems to me that there was a time when I did this, and there I made the connection which brought the spirit horse to me, or with me, when I entered this life; but that this time had been and gone, and now had moved to another level where the spirit horse was with me, and that was all I needed.
Since then, I have met many, many spirit animals in my journeys; I have also met live animals who have an extra quality about them which makes me think they might become a spirit animal when their bodies would have died.
I have met many people who have been helped, healed and sometimes even saved by animals, in spirit and otherwise; and the energy of animals, no matter what, who, or when they are, are a powerful healing and a bridge from us to the Universe itself.
And then, there was that one day, when I was driving my car really fast on a forest road, deep at night.
I was tired and hypnotized by the cat's eyes, winding around the biggest of the trees, driving faster and faster in my sports car to get home soon, so I could finally get some sleep.
And on that night, and for the first time in many years, I saw the spirit horse on the road, rearing up, directly in front of me.
I slammed my foot on the breaks without a second thought, and the car slowed down, and down - and there, in the headlights, just around the corner, were a herd of red deer, standing as frozen in the road, staring into my lights.
My car, which had lost all its previous speed, gently drifted to a halt just a couple of feet from the nearest of the deer, a beautiful young stag which looked directly at me through the windscreen.
The deer stood and looked for a while longer, then all of a sudden, the whole herd turned as though they had been called away, and disappeared into the night forest.
I would have died that night if the spirit horse hadn't warned me.
I would have slammed at over 80 miles an hour into a herd of red deer. There was no way I would have been able to stop in time.
I think it was on that night that I stopped wondering why some people have spirit animals, and instead, became simply grateful that it is so.
The world, and our lives, is an amazing place, filled with wonder.
With my love to my spirit horse, and all other animal spirits everywhere,
Silvia Hartmann
Originally posted 2003-02-18
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